Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when the air is filled with twinkling lights, cheerful music, and the faint aroma of burnt cookies you forgot in the oven. But let’s face it, the holidays aren’t all merry and bright. Between awkward family gatherings, shopping-induced headaches, and the annual game of “find the last parking spot at the mall,” the season can feel more like a marathon than a celebration.
Enter the secret weapon you didn’t know you needed: pre-coping.
Pre-coping is like stress-proofing your holidays in advance. Recently, one of my clients proudly told me they had used this technique and called it “pre-coping.” We both had a good laugh, but honestly, it’s brilliant. So, let’s make it a thing.
Here’s how to pre-cope your way to a holiday season that doesn’t leave you crying into your hot cocoa.
What Is Pre-Coping?
Pre-coping (or “coping ahead,” if you prefer the fancy, science-based term) is all about preparing for stressful situations before they happen. Think of it like packing snacks for a road trip so you don’t end up hangry and yelling at your GPS — or, let’s be honest, your partner. It’s not about avoiding stress; it’s about meeting it head-on with a plan that says, “Nice try, chaos, but not today.”
Pre-Coping vs. Worrying: Know the Difference
Let’s clear something up: pre-coping is not worrying. They may look similar, but they’re as different as a beautifully wrapped gift and a regifted holiday party present from years ago.
- Worrying: Endless “what ifs” that make you feel like the sky is falling.
- Pre-coping: Turning those “what ifs” into “here’s what I’ll do.”
For example:
- Worrying sounds like, “What if Uncle Ezekial starts his annual rant about taxes during dinner?”
- Pre-coping sounds like, “When Uncle Ezekial starts talking politics, I’ll excuse myself to ‘check on dessert’ (aka hide in the bathroom for five minutes).”
See the difference? Worrying keeps you stuck, while pre-coping gives you the upper hand.
Why You Need Pre-Coping for the Holidays
The holidays come with a predictable list of stressors:
- Wrapping gifts at 2 a.m. because you “totally have time later.”
- Endlessly explaining to Aunt Karen why you’re still single.
- Spending three days trying to untangle last year’s string lights.
By pre-coping, you’re creating a stress survival kit for yourself. It’s like carrying an umbrella when the forecast says a 90% chance of rain — you’ll thank yourself later.
5 Steps to Pre-Cope for the Holidays
Spot the Stressors
Make a list of everything about the holidays that has stressed you out in the past. From shopping frenzies to family drama, identify your holiday trouble spots.Picture the Scene
Imagine the situation in vivid detail. Uncle Ezekial is mid-rant, the kids are hyped up on sugar cookies, and your credit card bill is whispering, “You’ll regret this in January.” Got it? Great.Plan Your Response
Now that you’ve visualized the chaos, decide how you’ll handle it.- Need a break from the in-laws? Plan a mid-dinner “phone call.”
- Overwhelmed at the mall? Set a timer and shop with purpose.
- Dreading the “why don’t you have kids yet?” question? Practice your best deadpan, “Because I have Netflix and snacks, Karen.”
Practice Your Cool Moves
Whether it’s deep breathing, counting to ten, or excusing yourself to “get some air,” rehearse your go-to calming techniques. Bonus points if you can do it without looking like you’re about to implode or toss a fruitcake out Karen’s front window.Forgive Yourself in Advance
Even with the best pre-coping strategies, something will go sideways. When it does, cut yourself some slack. Burnt cookies? Call it “artisan.” Forgot a gift? Re-gift that fruitcake from last year or the Secret Santa present from years ago.
Real-Life Examples of Pre-Coping
- Shopping Madness: Plan to shop online or during off-peak hours. If you’re in a mall, bring headphones and blast your favorite music (or a true crime podcast — whatever keeps you calm).
- Family Drama: Have a prepared excuse to leave the room when tension rises. “Oops, I think the dog needs a walk!” works even if the dog isn’t yours.
- Overscheduling: Say “no” and protect your “me time” like a bouncer at an exclusive club.
- Budget Woes: Agree on a spending cap or go for DIY gifts. Bonus points if they involve Mason jar — everything looks cute in a Mason jar.
Pre-Coping: Your Holiday Superpower
Pre-coping is your ticket to a holiday season where you’re in charge, not your stress. Sure, the kids might still fight over the last candy cane, but you’ll be too zen to care.
This holiday season, try pre-coping. Plan for the chaos, laugh at the hiccups, and give yourself permission to step away when it all feels like too much. And if all else fails, pour yourself an extra glass of your favorite festive drink.
What’s your holiday stress kryptonite? How will you pre-cope this year? Let me know — I could use a laugh or two for my own holiday prep.
Wishing you a mostly stress-free and definitely memorable holiday season!
